Feeling little Joey kick and dance so much lately has gotten me so curious about this little boy. What will he look like? what will his personality be like? will he be obsessed with ice cream like his mommy? or maybe a deep thinker like his daddy?
One things for sure, he loves music. I brought him along to tonys show, like I had any other choice, and he was kicking like nuts! then last week after a saturday of being completely still and freaking me out, he starts dancing up a storm as soon as worship started at church Sunday morning.
Even though he's moving and growing well I still have my worries, what mom doesn't? Every body says it, you hear it any time a preggo is around..
"it doesn't matter if its a boy or girl, as long as its healthy."
uuuuh, yeeeeah. about that. um, what do I do with him if he's not? uh, do they have like a 'shove it back in and fix him til he is healthy' doctor?
Heres the thing, Tony Catie and Annie have been heroes their whole lives and since they are my sibs I understand why. Tony was born and seemed healthy, years later doctors found a tumor in his ear that could have paralized him and from it led multiple surgeries and no hearing in one ear... super healthy huh? a half deaf son.. not life endangering really, but not "healthy." Or Catie and Annie.. couldn't have been "healthier" babies until 12 years later for Catie and 2 years later for annie when they were both diagnosed with a terminal disease.. If you ask expectant parents if they want a "healthy" baby they don't picture tumors, deafness batten disease yet, these 3 people are at the top of my 'favorite people and things about life' list.
So being pregnant ourselves and having more of a clue as to whats important and knowing that healthy or not, you still want to meet your baby, we decided not to have the amniocentesis done for our pregnancy. We have heard all kinds of opinions on this decision but this is what it comes down to. Life or no life. We as a couple wouldnt terminate our pregnancy because of a health problem and yes it would make planning a little easier but no more than being shocked finding out after 9 months. My parents waited years. My siblings remind me that healthy or not I couldn't imagine them not being a part of our lives. I understand this is a personal thing, everyone is different, for us it doesn't matter. Gods had our babys life planned out before we even knew he existed so we are good with leaving it at that.
Heres the thing though. haha, there is always a thing. I am so used to changing adult diapers or pushing 11 year olds sucking on passifiers in wheelchairs made to look like strollers that I'm scared of our baby NOT having something wrong with him. weird? yeah pretty much, its just that I don't have a clue as to when a "healthy" baby learns to read, ride a bike or stop using a passifier. I think its funny that most people hope for a healthy baby thats "perfect" and not to say that wouldn't be wonderful, I'm just scared of it cause I don't know what its like. I'm used to growin up with a bunch of weirdos that think their doctor is just another uncle they visit once a month...
I guess I don't have any other choice then to keep trusting God.. if I can trust him for 9 months and not worry about a test then I think I can trust Him for the rest of Joeys life.. easy or not.
Poor baby, he hasn't even left muh belly and I already have a helmet and glass bubble life getting ready for him to jump into.. haha I'll calm down a little, don't worry..