Love that splotchy skin..

From Frump to Fab in 3.2 seconds.. want it?? so did I and I got it.

You'd think the hundreds of compliments I get every day from my best friend, my husband, would be enough to keep me feeling the way he sees me, but thats not always the case.. A slight combination of pregnancy and long time insecurities can sure lead me straight to a frumpy feeling kinda groove. I'm not so into it.. We all go through it at times but usually find ways to get out of it.. but lately I've felt stuck. I know what kyle thinks of me but what matters most is what I think of me.. being happy in your own skin.. unfortunately I can't diet.. I'm pregnant for goodness sake! and why would I feel the need to diet? I've only gained 6lbs total.. all baby weight for the first 22 weeks. That alone should make me feel fab! buuuut it doesn't quite get me there.. ok so maybe the hair.. I used to wear a trendy little cut that I loved but with baby on the way i'm thinking something that can't be thrown in a pony tail isn't a smart choice so attempt # 2 is a fail. Tan skin.. one of my faves.. I love to soak up the sun and always feel fab when I do but as much as I try this whole pregnancy thing is giving me more of a splotch look then a golden girl feel.. no big deal, that leads to skin cancer anyway. what about my clothes and accessories?? well clothes, i'm doing the best I can but I think i finally need maternity.. no big deal. Accessories?? unfortunately I can't do the toe ring thing cuz i keep swelling and can't do my trademark gi-ganto ring for the same reason.. MAN! its hard to be so fab lookin these days!!
Then I noticed something. Two holes in my ears.. 4 total. and they were empty. So I went to the store, got myself some bling and BAM!! Just like that, in the 3.2 seconds it took to put my new earrings in and a tiny bit of makeup on, I'm feeling that fab groove again. I'm not thinking about the fact that my ears are the only thing that aren't growing and my ears and eyes are the only thing I have to work with right now, I'm just enjoying it.

Oh and I'm also not going to think about how completely conceded I am and how self focused this blog entry is. I'm pretending I'm helping the world by saying "hey, ya may not be able to look fab from the neck down but girl, if your feeling the frump comin' on then work those ears!! put some bling in them and love the skin you're in!"

A First

Yesterday was a first for me, I registered for baby stuff.. scared me out of my mind, but was also so exciting. Thankfully my mom had no problem going with me to help give me some pointers.. Its a little early to make one but I dropped cupcakes off at a baby shower yesterday and got too excited!!
Besides, who doesn't want an excuse to walk around with the little red target gun? I DO!




http://www.target.com/registry/baby/1GAKJ16CY9VK6/guestview

Curious

Feeling little Joey kick and dance so much lately has gotten me so curious about this little boy. What will he look like? what will his personality be like? will he be obsessed with ice cream like his mommy? or maybe a deep thinker like his daddy?
One things for sure, he loves music. I brought him along to tonys show, like I had any other choice, and he was kicking like nuts! then last week after a saturday of being completely still and freaking me out, he starts dancing up a storm as soon as worship started at church Sunday morning.

Even though he's moving and growing well I still have my worries, what mom doesn't? Every body says it, you hear it any time a preggo is around..

"it doesn't matter if its a boy or girl, as long as its healthy."

uuuuh, yeeeeah. about that. um, what do I do with him if he's not? uh, do they have like a 'shove it back in and fix him til he is healthy' doctor?
Heres the thing, Tony Catie and Annie have been heroes their whole lives and since they are my sibs I understand why. Tony was born and seemed healthy, years later doctors found a tumor in his ear that could have paralized him and from it led multiple surgeries and no hearing in one ear... super healthy huh? a half deaf son.. not life endangering really, but not "healthy." Or Catie and Annie.. couldn't have been "healthier" babies until 12 years later for Catie and 2 years later for annie when they were both diagnosed with a terminal disease.. If you ask expectant parents if they want a "healthy" baby they don't picture tumors, deafness batten disease yet, these 3 people are at the top of my 'favorite people and things about life' list.
So being pregnant ourselves and having more of a clue as to whats important and knowing that healthy or not, you still want to meet your baby, we decided not to have the amniocentesis done for our pregnancy. We have heard all kinds of opinions on this decision but this is what it comes down to. Life or no life. We as a couple wouldnt terminate our pregnancy because of a health problem and yes it would make planning a little easier but no more than being shocked finding out after 9 months. My parents waited years. My siblings remind me that healthy or not I couldn't imagine them not being a part of our lives. I understand this is a personal thing, everyone is different, for us it doesn't matter. Gods had our babys life planned out before we even knew he existed so we are good with leaving it at that.
Heres the thing though. haha, there is always a thing. I am so used to changing adult diapers or pushing 11 year olds sucking on passifiers in wheelchairs made to look like strollers that I'm scared of our baby NOT having something wrong with him. weird? yeah pretty much, its just that I don't have a clue as to when a "healthy" baby learns to read, ride a bike or stop using a passifier. I think its funny that most people hope for a healthy baby thats "perfect" and not to say that wouldn't be wonderful, I'm just scared of it cause I don't know what its like. I'm used to growin up with a bunch of weirdos that think their doctor is just another uncle they visit once a month...
I guess I don't have any other choice then to keep trusting God.. if I can trust him for 9 months and not worry about a test then I think I can trust Him for the rest of Joeys life.. easy or not.
Poor baby, he hasn't even left muh belly and I already have a helmet and glass bubble life getting ready for him to jump into.. haha I'll calm down a little, don't worry..

MILK

It does a body good.



And I just can't get enough..mm mm.. I just can't get enough.

Its a boy!

Aside from the fact that we are completely excited and I am completely terrified of trying to potty train and raise someone with a ..well, someone thats not a girl, I am also completely in awe and not surprised.
Keep in mind I probably think things out way to much but this is what I've noticed.

Uncle frank passed away in jan.

Moms birthday is March 14th. One day uncle frank would NEVER miss, no matter what.

We made a baby the weekend of her birthday without even knowing it.
,
We found out we were pregnant april 1st, days before Uncles birthday, it was like a bandaid that helped with the pain of not having him here. You lose loved ones, and you gain loved ones.. lifes a cycle.

Today we found out we are pregnant with a boy. Uncle frank was a boy.:)

we are naming him Joseph Alan.. Dad, tony and Uncle all have Joseph in their names.

The baby is expected to be born days before the one year anniversary of Uncles accident that led to his death.

I don't believe in coincidence...

Im beat..

...and have no energy to blog about my zebra cake, my two dead cars, my sis in law, lunch with nana poppie juliane alex jake and april or the hour and a half of sitting in traffic trying to get from spruce ave to the bay bridge. another day i guess, for now i must soothe my angry lower back/hips... being prego wipes ya out!

Sweet Dreams AnnieFanny

This afternoon in an attempt to trick Annie into a much needed nap I found myself singing the same song to her that I sang when she was 6 months old. A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes by the one and only, Cinderella. Then it was just one of many disney songs she would recognize and grow up on and soon it became one of her very favorites.. when she was two she would say, "the dweem won kowly" (translated, the dream one kelly) and she began to request that specific song with a few others. As I sang it I got a little teary looking at her fall asleep.. She looks the same as when she was two and we'd sit in the rocking chair every afternoon... Same blankie, same passifier, same big soft forehead and the same sleeping seizures... the only difference now is she is 11, her legs are longer than mine will ever be, she barely fits on my lap and her seizures are stronger. That song still puts her out... the funny thing is I never thought about the song. it was just another princess song we have heard a million times, until today. I thought about it and I think it is completely fitting for Anne Marie of all little girls.

A dream is a wish your hear makes

when you're fast asleep

in dreams you will lose your heartache

whatever you wish for you'll keep

have faith in your dreams and someday

your rainbow will come smiling thru

no matter how your heart is greiving

if you keep on believing

a dream that you wish will come true

LovieDovie

If you're not a fan of unicorns, rainbows, sparkles, sprinkles, baby animals, ponys, love songs, cupcakes, cuddling or kissing you should stop reading now.

This is a list of all thing things my husband is.. keep in mind there is much more than words can describe, but you get the mushy idea.



wonderful
cute
mybestfriend
funny
silly
serious
smart
handsome
hardworking
genious
nerdy
strong
quiet
fantastic
fabulous
outstanding
romantic
thoughtful
caring
protective
loving
sexy!
adventurous
responsible
friendly
outgoing
likeable
HOTT
goodsmelling
pierced
selfless
giving
amazing
dorky
sarcastic<3
goodlistener
goodhugger
goodkisser
good...seenextline
wonderfuldaddytobe
talented
muscley
kind
gentle
sweet
independant
insured:)
awesome
lookedupto
admirable
inspirational
solid
intriquing
electric
attractive
enchanting
appealing
exciting
incredible
patient
intelligent
clever
cool
and
allmine<3

Eye Opening

the last week has been an eye opening week for me. Its got me thinking...

The death of farrah fawcett and the struggle her body and soul went through in her battle with cancer in the last few years made me look at batten disease as if it were a luxury disease.

The loss that farrah fawcetts parents have endured now losing their second daughter leaving them with no living children has made me so thankful for every single time I have barfed and every single little pain I've experienced in my pregnancy.. my child is living

The death of the king of pop leaving his children fatherless has made me thankful for my dad and the man that he is

The fact that the death of a child endangering king of pop has overshadowed the death of so many other deaths in the same day/week/month tells me our world is pretty backwards...

The fact my dad and sister were in africa worshiping with people that don't even own their own Bible makes me realize how spoiled and taken advantage of religion in the US is... I don't even read my own Bible every day

The fact that in America you can earn money and blue ribbons for having the fattest farm animal and never kill it but a goat that is smaller than my sisters corgi can double the income of a family living in rwanda makes me embarrassed to live near dixon california

While vacationing in lake tahoe I noticed people gambling during an economic recession.. like I said, I was vacationing... during a recession.



oh I know there were a few more things but my sleeping pills are kicking in.. the rest will have to wait... zzzZZZ