Thursday, April 28, 2011

Count to 10..

Classic anger management technique, count to 10. We've all heard it and I'm guessing have all tried it. Lately I'd have to count a lot higher to 10 to calm myself down if I were going to try that technique. I want to tell everyone off for a number of reasons. I'm finding myself feeling like I did when I was younger and angry and not knowing how to deal with it so I held it all inside. I don't recommend doing that. I can feel the pressure building like I'm about to explode and over little things too! Thats the funny thing. I am pretty sure its because I have BIG things on my mind all day. Big things that are important so when the little things come along like someone blowing me off or flaking or expecting unrealistic things of me, thats when I go crazy. I have justified it in my mind too.. like, "of course its ok and understandable to just tell someone how it is because..." bla bla bla and then I read this:

Ephesians 5:1 be an imitator of Christ.

sheesh. now that is one gnarly form of anger management. imitate the Creator of the universe. The person that gave his life for every single person no matter what they've done or who they are.

good bye anger, you're not allowed to stick around because if I stay angry I will act on it and that can't happen...

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Breathe In, Breathe Out.

There are some moments in this life where I am overwhelmed by gratitude so greatly that I feel like it is impossible to breathe. Its moments when my son runs over to me and plants a soft kiss on my cheek and then tucks his little face under my chin and sighs while rubbing the skin on my face or arms. Then his daddy, the love of my life, gets the biggest smile on his face and says, "wow, you two are the best thing about my life. I love watching you together."

and then I think, "breathe kel, breathe!!"

true suffocating love.


Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Invisible Monster

mental illness.

I feel like if you get too close your mental-ness starts to get ill...