I spoke with a mom this morning who's son took his life almost 6 years ago. I'm not sure how it even came up now but she began telling me about him, their last conversation, the days after he was gone. While we were talking a song that was played at his memorial came on and she literally gasped, her eyes opened wide and then filled with tears and she began to cry. His younger brother was standing next to her adding in little things here and there about what it was like to lose his big brother. He is younger than me and shorter than me (that doesn't happen often) and I look up to him. He knows what its like to lose a sibling. His mom continued to talk about how she always thinks of my family. She always prays for us. She lost one of her babies but she prays for me and my family. wow.
I stood there listening to her thinking, they are on the other side of what my family is expecting but they didn't see it coming. They didn't have that chance to give one last hug or say a goodbye. And after all that, she prays for US! I kept thinking, they know what its like. Their eyes CLEARLY hold a look of pain. I don't want that. Its what I'm scared of, having those feelings and loss. I also realized though, that they were both talking. Breathing. Laughing. Crying. Feeling. Life has kept going.. not better or ok or any of that but it kept going... I don't think they could ever know how much that the way they trust that all things happen for God's glory has impacted me.
Hug your loved ones, tell them you love them and remember that life is like a vapor.
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Vapor...I've had the exact same thoughts over the last few months about my uncle who has lost his mind and is slowly loosing his body. One day he was here and the next day he was gone. He's never going to come back and be "normal". I think you are very, very in touch with your emotions and that is hard to come by.
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