Saturday, February 13, 2010

My Sisters Keeper

I watched this movie last night and didn't know what I was in for. I had a feeling it would be sad but I had no idea it would hit the nail on the head. I fell asleep cuddled in my husbands strongs arms with a stuffy nose and teary eyes. I couldn't believe how similar some of the situations were and how well they grasped the reality of having a sick family member. I was amazed at the scene where the family is getting ready to take their last trip to the beach. The two 'healthy' siblings were getting things together, stopped and stared at each other with the same look Tony and I have shared before. Its that look that says a million things at once like, I know this is her last ___ or, what if she dies after she ___ ...You are too scared to be the one to say all your thoughts out loud but you know you don't have to because your family is having the same exact thoughts race through their head at the same time. Or how 'bout the scene where the family is sitting in the hospital room the day of their daughters/sisters death and the crazy friends and family are going on and on about "just having to think the cancer away" or "just focus more" and sharing crazy stories that aren't true about people in different situations that don't apply to the situation at hand. These scense pulled me into the movie because they are so real. So real that I started getting jealous of different parts of the movie.

I became jealous when the little sister sat at the table and told her parents how angry she was at them for certain things. In the real world that is impossible because you would only cause more damage to them. When your a kid you can't see the whole picture. You don't see your parents fighting to take care of both kids, healthy and sick. You only see what hurts you and frustrates you without understanding why.
I became jealous when the two sisters where laying outside on the grass together talking about boys, each other, life and death. I haven't shared moments like that with Catie since we were little girls. I miss it. I miss being able to have a normal conversation with her. I was jealous because even though this kids sister was sick and dying, they could still talk and share secrets.
I became jealous toward the end of the movie when the sister was dying and was able to tell her siblings she loved them and goodbye. Maybe its good. Maybe it would be harder to clearly be able to say good bye at the end of Caties life.
I was jealous during the funeral scene because her life was over and it was time for them to move on. At Caties funeral we will be thinking about Annies in the future.

Its stupid how into it I got.. that I was so jealous of a story that isn't true. Thats just the thing tho... its not a true life story but it portrays many true life stories that have existed and are still being lived...

One thing that movie did for me was make me thankful. I was SO thankful for my parents. I would think as a parent of sick and healthy kids that this movie has the ability to make you feel like a bad parent. I think they could have portrayed the parents a little differently. At the same time tho, think about it, it is pretty realistic. You have two kids playing outside. They both trip on each other and fall down. One has a scratch on their knee and the other doesn't. Which kid do you pick up, set on the table and put a band aid on? The kid with the scratch. Where is the kid that fell but didn't get a scratch? walking beside their parent and sibling over to the table and watching their sibling be taken care of. Now look at the same situation on a larger scale.. You have a terminal kid that needs constant care and although the healthy sib is hurt too, they are healthy so the stay along side and watch the terminal sib be taken care of. That is something you can not understand when you are young and the reason you'd wish you could sit at a table and scream all your feelings out. But that doesn't mean parents don't do the very best they can. My parents are amazing for many reasons. The care the give to each of us kids is one of them. I can't imagine how it must feel to have to take care of both but I know my parents do the best they can and that is where I felt the movie wasn't mirrored to our family situation.

The movie also made me thankful for Batten Disease. They say its one of the worst diseases a child can have but if you ask me, I'll take 2 batten sibs over a cancer sib any day. I know, I know, its completely different but still. Its easy to feel like you're alone in your fight for life with your siblings but this movie reminded me that it could always, always be worse...

Overall I think it was an amazing movie. The perfect picture of the extremes you go to as a parent to keep your child alive and the extremes you'd go to as a sib to make your sibling happy.

1 comment:

What's my name again? said...

that movie made me cry my whole face off. it was horrible...but good at the same time. :)