Ya know those moments that feel so unreal? Like you need to pinch yourself to make sure you're not asleep? This is one of them.
I'm sitting by our Christmas tree feeding Joey and Im amazed that I have a son this Christmas morning. Last Christmas morning I saw my uncle for the last time as I stood next to his hospital bed and held his hand.
This year my family not only has a new little life to celebrate but hes mine! This year Im a mom, a Santa Claus and the happiest Ive ever been in my life because of it.
Today I can't see my parents and siblings because some of them are sick and we cant risk Joey catching it. I had a good cry with a smashin pity part when reality set in about this but since have been able to find some sweet things in this holiday to be thankful for like the fact that I cant spend another Christmas with Catie but not because shes with us anymore. Shes here celebrating another visit from santa and I'll see her in a week or so.. heck theres alot, I'll make a list of the best things like...
my 3 hugs from my Aunt Cathy yesterday that she obviously knew I needed more than I did.
my aunt marianne hosting xmas eve last minute so we could all be together.
watching my 3 little cousins from China, little Jake and my Joey all be together on Christmas for the first time.
Spending Christmas eve with my Nana and Poppie. My favorite couple of all time.
Seeing my dad and Amy out for a walk right by our apartment right as we were pulling up at home and flipping the fastest bitch of all time to go drive by and say hi.
Getting a call from the next generation of Poppie Santas. A lifelong tradish for us kids to get a phone call from our poppie disguised as Santa every year has now become a tradish for my dad to do since he is a Poppie this year. Joey wasn't in the mood to talk to Santa but it made my day.
Just some of my top fave things so far and its only Christmas morning! so far so good.