Sweet Tooth

One of my Valentine Cutie Patooties. I can't wait to open a bakery some day.
Love At First Bite Baking Co.
oooooh yeah baby

A Song for Anne Marie

Why'd you have to go so soon
Don't you know that I need you
And I miss you
Yeah I miss you
Scary thing is you're still here
But your souls been gone for the past few years
And I miss you
Yeah I miss you
You come around now and then
But when you're here I don't pretend
That you're here to stay
'Cause I know in moments you'll slip away
And I miss you
Yeah I miss you
I can see your smile in your blue eyes
And I can hear your laugh in between your sighs
I know you want to leave for good
If you had the chance I know you would
But I'd miss you
Like I miss you
Why'd you have to go so soon
I can't wait 'til I see you

Happy New Year!

Annie came home from school on Monday the 26th with a paper dragon that she had colored at school. She informed me that that day was the Chinese New year. We talked about our cousins that live in China and she told me all about the things they must be doing to celebrate. Then she asked me when our new years is.

quick back track: Uncle Frankie was in the hospital on new years eve this year. Anxious to catch a break from the stress of everything, Tony, Kerri and Amy all went to friends houses. Dad worked that night so an exhausted mom decided to go to bed at a normal time. Anyone in their right mind would put Catie and Annie to sleep rather than stay up all night waiting to watch the ball drop for so many reasons.

Back to the story. When Annie asked when our new years was I just told her its not for a while. She is way too smart for that. She was also VERY upset because the kids at school told her that we had already celebrated new years. The nerve. She could not believe they would say such a thing! She argued with them telling them it had not come yet and in her little world, it hadn't. Friday nights are sleep over nights. Annie either stays at our "hotel" aka apartment or I stay the night at the house. Trying to think fast I told her that New Years Eve was friday night! She was immediately excited and ready to plan. "We have to have shrimp with the red stuff, vegetables and ranch and toasting juice." She also made sure I had hats and poppers on the list. Pretty soon Catie was planning too. All throughout the week they would ask how many more days until the countdown and then finally it came. Mom continued to remind me that it isn't new years until the ball drops. How would we pull that off?? YOUTUBE.COM haha We watched a movie and ate all of the necessary new years eve junk food and then we watched the ball drop on the computer since the tv wasn't working all of a sudden. :) They were both in their beds and asleep by 8:00. Operation New Years Eve was a success!

It was a blast and I don't plan on ever forgetting it. I was reminded again of the beauty in their simple life. Its heart breaking to think of all they have to struggle with but nights like Jan 30th remind you that its not all bad. That sometimes they are better off not realizing they slept through new years cause their uncle was in the hospital but being happy to listen to someone countdown from 10 to 1 and blow some horns. Its simple happiness. I love it!

First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

The first time ever I saw your face, I thought the sun rose in your eyes.

And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave,

To the dark and the endless sky, my love.

And the first time ever I kissed your mouth,

I felt the earth move through my hands.

Like the trembling heart of a captive bird

That was there at my command.

And the first time ever I lay with you,

I felt your heart so close to mine.

And I know our joy would fill the earth,

And last till the end of time, my love.

The first time ever I saw your face.

-Johnny Cash

Went to Emeryville with the love of my life today. Walked bay street hand in hand, loving every second of it. We talked about life and how quickly it passes by. Talked about our past and favorite memories and hopes for our future. Like vacations we'll go on, babies we'll raise and albums we'll write and record. Talked about how fragile life is and how soon it can be gone. How we want to make the most of it and enjoy even the not-so-fun parts the best we can since we have each other and a mutual faith in God. To finish off the night, Johnny Cash and Carb free dinner. Now thats the life....

A Day to Remember

We celebrated Uncle Frankie's life today at his memorial service. It was beautiful. The slideshow was my favorite part. pictures of Uncle doing things he loved the most with people he loved unconditionally. I think the only thing he would have done different was maybe have his best buddies do a jam session in his honor and cut the baptist preaching time in half. haha He never could sit still for very long... 

As I was sitting waiting for the service to start I saw so many family members there to show support. Still, I continued wondering where Uncle was? Silly me. Like a little kid, I was looking forward to seeing my goofy uncle that would make me laugh on a day as sad as today. Unfortunately it was his death that made the day so sad. I still can't believe its all real. 

I have to say I am a little jealous. He is in a place that I can't even wrap my mind around with My uncle, my Nonni Eleanor and many more of our loved family members. I still can't understand why it was him that had to go other than the fact that I definitely needed a wake up call. A confirmation of my faith in God. A greater appreciation for my family members. A larger sense of safety and smart choices. Seems like when he was here I took him for granted. Now I'm' learning so many lessons from him that I never thought would be the kind he would teach.

He is already missed so greatly. I know it will definitely hit me hard on my moms birthday or any of our birthdays. A guaranteed hang out time he would rarely miss. Or this summer when we are in his backyard swimming and he's not there spraying us with the freezing cold hose. 

I can't wait to hang out with him again someday. 

Uncle Frankie

You'll be missed. May you rest in peace. Love you.

Twas the night before Christmas...

A long day is over and I'm finally at home. Tired but happy. Happier than I've been in days. Its amazing how God can put things in perspective. Since my melt down at the grocery store I have been able to calm down and deal with stuff. Finally. 

It definitely helped to have my "day off" with my husband, but I knew I wouldn't be away from the house for long. Can't help it right now. The thought of my sisters being without mom days before Christmas was too heavy on my heart. My husband, being the amazing support that he is, was right by my side while I picked up frosting and candy that would be used on our gingerbread houses. I was trying to think of "normal" things that kids do as Christmas arrives. This seemed fun? They loved it. Catie even made a trip up into the kitchen to help. Kyle, Tony and I then took kerri and Amy to their recital. They completely blew me away and calmed me down. They blew the other kids songs out of the water too. lol. I listened to their songs and was not only amazed by their talent and hard work but also reminded of why its worth it to be so tired. I love them like mad. I know that they are scared for uncle and they miss mom and all of a sudden I didn't care how tired, frustrated or worried I was. It became all about them and made today wonderful. I made it over to the house around 10ish after running to the store. I made amys Jonas Brothers bday cake and got a few things ready for lunch. Annie was getting pretty upset over waiting for gifts. You could tell she was trying to be patient. If Christmas was in june this year everything would have been ripped open by her and then broken by her. Thankfully she is doing well right now and all we saw or heard was a fuss. I brought her home with me for a few hours, we had cocoa, sang and watched a movie. I love when she is at my house, she is so relaxed. I also love knowing everyone at home is getting a few hours of quiet. We returned back to the house and welcomed some of Dad's siblings. Always nice to see them, always lame when not everyone can make it. I got alot of "thank You's" and tight hugs from my aunts and uncles for "saving christmas." haha not quite. you know that sparkling clean toilet you sat on? Kerri and Amy did that haha along with alot of other things to help. After the family left Kyle and I headed over to his family's house and just arrived home. I am so happy that my sisters enjoyed the day. I know I can't fix the pain and disappointment that they have right now, but at least they can eat xmas cookies and our traditional 3 coarse meal while they are going through this. 

When Kyle and I got home we of coarse had to dig into a bag of Dove chocolates that we were given. My absolute fave. I love the quotes on each wrapper too. Kyle smiled and handed me his foil and said, "here, this ones for you babe." The quote read, "Remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect." Does he know me or what? I gotta stop trying to be a freaking hero.  It is pretty rewarding though when its all said and done and your sisters hug you and say they love you. 

If this year hasn't tought that Jesus is the reason for the season, I don't know what will. Thank goodness that I am forgiven for my selfish attitude over the last few days and my therapy session in Luckys. Thank goodness I don't have to worry about frankie, he is living out his life just how God planned and allowed. 

Night, & Merry Christmas.